Trauma Responses - Thoughts

It can be very hard to stop thinking about the abuse/rape. Trying to understand it can be confusing and can lead you to think things about yourself that aren’t true.

  • I should have…
  • I should not have…
  • I deserved the sexual abuse because…
  • Why did I…..?
  • Why did I not ..…?

The person who did that to you made the choices.  You are not to blame.  Your reactions were normal reactions in an abnormal situation, and you survived.

  • I cannot go on…..
  • I’m not coping…..
  • It’s never going to change…..

By being here today you are coping and you are working towards change.

  • Sleeplessness
  • Nightmares
  • Dissociation
  • Confusion

These are normal reactions when your mind is processing trauma and these difficulties can go on for some time but things will get easier and more manageable.

  • I cannot say that word…
  • Nobody will believe me…
  • I don’t know the words to say…
  • People will judge me…

It’s normal to find talking about rape or abuse scary.  Take your time.  Say it in your own words, in your own way.  It’s never too late to talk to someone.

  • Fear of what people will say
  • Fear if the abuser is still around
  • Fear of not being believed
  • Cyclical, panicky thoughts

Abusers are able to abuse because they instil a fear of speaking up in their victim.  There are people who believe you and want to support you.

  • They should have protected me….
  • All men are disgusting….
  • It’s ruined my life….

Anger is to be expected after someone betrays your trust or sense of safety.  It is healthy, but try and consider who is really to blame.

  • I’m dirty and used….
  • Nobody will ever understand me….
  • Nobody will ever love me….
  • I am damaged goods….
  • I deserved it….

You are much more than what someone did to you.  You have had to cope with something traumatic, and you are still you.

  • Nobody understands

Everybody is different but we can understand why you might be feeling how you are.  Everything that happens to us has the potential to make us stronger.

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Feedback

We always appreciate feedback, please contact us via: admin@hertsrapecrisis.org.uk or call 01707 276539 if there is anything you would like us to know.

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